Complicated love

What is love? For me love is just when that someone means alot to you and you just can't let her go. Like she is so precious. You can't even stop thinking of her even for a second. And when she's gone, you feel lost in this world. She is like the map/GPS for your life. But sometimes when you love someone too much that you can only let them go to see them happy.

But what if you always get lied? That what i'm going through right now. I'm just like a stupid fool trusting you. And i know i shouldn't. And you say i have to bring down my ego when its actually your fault. What? Do i have to give in all the time? I will for the last time. But if you think you cant control your ego too bad. Have a great day peeps

Complicated Life

Sometimes life could be very complicated. There is too many choices that i have to make. I just can't make up my mine on which decision that i gonna make. I have to go through so much. I guess i'm too weak to do all of this alone. I cry every time when i feel like giving up. How am i able to be stronger?

Its not my type to scold people. I would rather be quiet and let them do whatever they want. I'm scared if i ever rant at them they would think twice about me and leave me. Slowly people are leaving me. Slowly i will know who are my true friend. Why do people have to leave anyway? Maybe we didn't sigh a contract to be friend like how 50 shades of grey does but aren't you sincere to be my friend? 

Why do i always put myself on other's shoe but they don't do the same? What wrong with me! I should not be really kind. But sigh that's the way i am. I can't see other sad or down. My heart would be very pain. But i don't really show it. I don't want them to be more sad. I feel like a burden to everyone. Am i? 

I need an answer but i know i won't get any. But its ok maybe one fine day everything will be answered? Who knows right. God is fair. I believe in god.

Goodbye. Till my next blog,

Dear Blog,

I don't know what else i should do. I did everything that i could. I even put aside my feelings just for us to get back together. But nothing seems working. She's like rather be away from me and be with her friends. i know she is still trying to avoid herself from me. She even ask me to get over her. Is she stupid? She think its really easy. Wait i don't think its even possible.

Even just now she scold me for what she did wrong. I just accept it. I didn't scold her back or get angry at her. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I just want us back together. Can't she see that? What else does she want? Yes maybe i can't give her happiness but i'm always trying my best to make her happy. Even the things i did make myself sad or hurt but at least she is happy.

Maybe people like me don't deserve a second chance. I think she should listen to her "best friend". But if she is really her best friend, she would be motivating her right? I really don't know what i need to do. Lately, i got a tension headache which is causes by depression and stress. Which is what i am feeling all this while. 

I'm tired of everything. Everything is really killing me slowly. My life now really have no meaning. I'm not motivated to do anything. Not even to live. I give up on my life. I am a failure. 

Fir